blogsecret:

I’m scared I will never get over you. I’m even more scared that I don’t want to.

I’m a goddamn fucking liar and I have no idea. I’m fucked. I’m in too deep again and I can’t pull myself out anymore :( No, I don’t WANT to pull myself out. Maybe it’s a bit of both. Either way, it’s going to destroy me in the end :(

I’m still in love with the last guy I dated who broke my heart. I let him use me for my car, laptop, food, money, anything you can think of, just so I can spend time with him…I still cling to the insane hope we’ll get back together, when I know he’s just not interested, and let myself get sucked into my own fantasy whenever we have a good time together, thinking ‘oh, maybe this could still work’. And the most pathetic thing? Knowing all of this and yet choosing to ignore it because I’m not strong enough to walk away. Because being semi-happy with him in my life, in this pseudo-relationship I’ve formed in my head, is better than being completely miserable without him. FML…